I didn't realize how long it had been since I last wrote in this blog. I had it linked on my Twitter account, and completely forgot that I started writing eight years ago. If you're interested, read the old entries. They certainly still apply to my world today. Too much has happened in the past right years to catch up in one blog entry. For today I'll stick to the topic and spend the upcoming days or weeks reflecting and catching up.
You'll notice I've titled this entry "Unconditional." Lately, I see many forms of love around me. None of them are unconditional, with the exception of my mother. I am speaking of love toward me, not the love that I give. As much as I would like to say that my love toward others is unconditional, I find this is not a truth.
This led me to question whether unconditional love is necessary. I believe it is. Many of us believe in a higher being, regardless of who or what that entity is. This is where our first idea of unconditional love evolves. Personally, the only human unconditional love I have received is from a parent, specifically my mother. My late father had plenty of conditions to his love. (That's a story for another day.)
I'm uncertain if I'm capable of unconditional love. Those who don't know me well may see me as loud, outspoken, often harsh, brutally honest, and mostly unsympathetic. Those who do know me well certainly know those things to be truths about me. I am also a daughter, a sister, a mother (but not a mom - more in another entry), kind, giving, a willing helpful hand, an empathetic listener, an advice giver, and sometimes the person who may save your life.
Though I may try not to conditionally love those who are close to me, I fail daily. I find myself having expectations of those around me which may be impossible for them to meet. It does not stop me from loving them. However, I do have people in my past who I no longer love or have to love at a distance because of life circumstances or the people they have become. There are those who would say I should still love them, but the truth is; many of them I don't. I also do not apologize for making the decision to no longer love them. I wish them no ill will. I hope their lives become better and they achieve what they want. It will just have to be done without me being a part of it in any way.
I always want to see others succeed. In fact, it's one of the few things that gives me great pleasure. Watching others fail causes me grief. Watching others lose things causes me grief. I would much rather see others being lifted up than broken down by life. Moving forward is difficult at best and knowing there is unconditional love out there is what keeps most of us putting one foot in front of the other.
I continue to strive toward getting unconditional love. I may never meet the goal, but I hope I never stop trying to attain it.
You'll notice I've titled this entry "Unconditional." Lately, I see many forms of love around me. None of them are unconditional, with the exception of my mother. I am speaking of love toward me, not the love that I give. As much as I would like to say that my love toward others is unconditional, I find this is not a truth.
This led me to question whether unconditional love is necessary. I believe it is. Many of us believe in a higher being, regardless of who or what that entity is. This is where our first idea of unconditional love evolves. Personally, the only human unconditional love I have received is from a parent, specifically my mother. My late father had plenty of conditions to his love. (That's a story for another day.)
I'm uncertain if I'm capable of unconditional love. Those who don't know me well may see me as loud, outspoken, often harsh, brutally honest, and mostly unsympathetic. Those who do know me well certainly know those things to be truths about me. I am also a daughter, a sister, a mother (but not a mom - more in another entry), kind, giving, a willing helpful hand, an empathetic listener, an advice giver, and sometimes the person who may save your life.
Though I may try not to conditionally love those who are close to me, I fail daily. I find myself having expectations of those around me which may be impossible for them to meet. It does not stop me from loving them. However, I do have people in my past who I no longer love or have to love at a distance because of life circumstances or the people they have become. There are those who would say I should still love them, but the truth is; many of them I don't. I also do not apologize for making the decision to no longer love them. I wish them no ill will. I hope their lives become better and they achieve what they want. It will just have to be done without me being a part of it in any way.
I always want to see others succeed. In fact, it's one of the few things that gives me great pleasure. Watching others fail causes me grief. Watching others lose things causes me grief. I would much rather see others being lifted up than broken down by life. Moving forward is difficult at best and knowing there is unconditional love out there is what keeps most of us putting one foot in front of the other.
I continue to strive toward getting unconditional love. I may never meet the goal, but I hope I never stop trying to attain it.
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